>> Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Listening to: What Were the Chances, Damien Jurado

Reading: The Reader, Bernhard Schlink

I remember Yung Xiang once said I am strange, because who he sees of me is not who my family sees, vice versa. (We had some "deep" philosophical talks. Wonderful times.) In his blog he described me as "internal contrast". And of course being 38 I asked him what he meant and he replied me on FB in a few rather long conversations and later he didn't reply wtf he must've thought I'm a terrible horrible person.

I think i read it in a photography magazine. It's like when you take a picture and you change it's total contrast you call it internal contrast. However, pls don't ask me what is external contrast. [...] win zee...though she may have many facets....has something kinda common in all her facets...that ultimately is so typically win zee?
Someone please decode. He either meant that I'm like a diamond which "has so many facets but still essentially a diamond"

or he might mean a different thing. I don't see the link between internal contrast and multi-faceted.

I agree that I have many facets, but what is the common ground these facets are based upon - if, according to YX, there is one? Maybe all these facets are equally noble, or smart, or popular, or wonderful. Throw in some more adjectives. Positives only, please, thank you.

Mom said what matters is that I be myself, and be happy with it. Am I happy? I don't know. At least I'm not sad. Oh but I am frustrated over my dressing style OMG so siannnnnnnn with it already laaa.

So who do you see? Do tell me by leaving a comment (or two) :)

1 voices:

orenji,  23/05/2010, 00:51  

wow , zee became a bit emo liao .. well , i agree with what your mom said .. Be yourself , be the way that you are most comfortable with and live your life with the way you want .. we don't live our lives to satisfy other people's need all the time and every person have a different thoughts towards something .. so just take other people's comment towards you as a guidance to be a better person .. ZEE , not only you .. every people have different faces in their own lives , just accept the fact that human act differently towards different things .. sorry if i'm being straightforward , but i just want to let you know how i feel about you .. what i think of you is that you tend to hide your true self and suppressing your true emotions inside within yourself most of the time , thus setting up a barrier for other people from know the true ZEE ( i'm not saying that you are fake , being fake is different ).. however , i don't think that you are strange .. i would say that you acting the way that you are feeling safe .. and that is what most human do , trying to be safe .. hope that i didn't light up your matchstick ( being mad )

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