"Clarifications"

>> Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Pardon the lack of updates. I was out of reach of the internet.
Yeah.
HAHA.

Well let's see.

I might stand a better chance to enter CHS because the pengetua was in a good mood that day.

And Waning thinks I have a boyfriend just because of this teeny weeny prank I wrote on the blog.
Do I even look like someone who'll get a boyfriend?


If you know of any Mr. Desperados, DO call me at 1-800-WIN-ZEE. Yes that's me.


Don't overestimate me la, so damn paiseh lorh! *blush*

And I do not swear in reality. I don't remember when was the last time I swore. Is it necessary to make a big deal of it? I am often influenced for a while after reading, the way I write, I mean, and in that case it's the American Karma Sutra.


Oh yeah, great porn.


And it often goes away after I read the next book.

However if you expect me to go like "Oh f*ck it's f*cking 30 minues already s/he is f*cking not here yet now I'm f*cking gonna get gonna wait some more and then when s/he f*cking comes I'm gonna f*cking give him/her a f*cking scolding", eh, don't.
I believe it might have made some of you sailors blush.

School's been okay.
I like my Perut Buncit Japanese-look-alike Mr. Lau :) So sarcastic lor, somewhat like Pn. Lim ML :) And he's surprisingly young, I've done my maths, he's approaching 40. He has a 2-year-old son and he has never been to a cinema for years and he can only go watch movies in cinema three years later when his son turns 5 lol. AND HE SPEAKS CHINESE LOL and he's a Buddhist. He's my form teacher and he reminds me of one of my uncles.
Like Pn. Lim right?

My MUET teacher Pn. Chia doesn't eat anything that comes from the cow and when she was emphasizing the importance of touch towards babies a guy in our class got obsessed with the word.
We were doing verbs that day and we gave a short list of verbs.
"I play in the field."
"I work in the field."
"I laugh in the field."
In our minds: "I touch in the field..."

My Pengajian Am teacher En. Saad, his classes might be a little boring la, we've finish Chapter 1, I sorta kinda like that, the chapter, I mean. But he's really funny.
"Kenal Anwar Ibrahim tak?"
"Kenal."
"Dia kenal kamu tak?"
Class laugh.
OR
"Kenal Obama tak?"
"Kenal."
"Kenal Osama tak?"
Class laugh again.

Maths T teacher Pn. Tan, uhmm, nothing much la. LOL.

It gets tiring at the end of the day though, even nothing much has crammed into my mind.
I'm getting old!
By 2010 March, when I get my 4-flats, I'm gonna point at every college-goers of my batch and laugh.

PIANO EXAM OMGOMGOMG.
Teacher said I have improved, I can play out the mood correctly, and I THINK she has confidence that I can pass.
BUT I FREAKING DON'T! X(
My Bach is alright my Mozart is not so good my Chopin I'm satisfied my Poulenc is not so good.
Alright + Not So Good + Satisfied + Not So Good = TAK BOLEH PASS.
And here I am, blogging away, not practicing my piano...
*points at self* YOU F*CKING PROCRASTINATOR! GO PRACTICE YOUR DAMN PIANO AND GET A F*CKING CERT!
Oops.

Mom thinks I can be a voice actor at Disney, or a DJ for the kids.
MAN. That's under-utilizing my potential k!
JK! NO OFFENCE INTENDED :P

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Boom.

I'm tagged by Nicole and yeah I've done something similar but I really like doing this so yeah here we go :)

Rules:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make any sense. No cheating.
4. With the answers, give your comments on how it relates to the questions.
5. Tag 5 people.


How are you feeling today?
The Animals Were Gone, Damien Rice

Woke up and for the first time the animals were gone
It's left this house empty now, not sure if I belong
Yesterday you asked me to write you a pleasant song
I'll do my best now but you've been gone for so long

I know that I've left you in places of despair
I know that I love you so please throw down your hair
At night I trip without you and hope I don't wake up
'Cause waking up without you is like drinking from an empty cup

I know I've been a liar and I know I've been a fool
I hope we didn't break it but I'm glad we broke the rules
My cave is deep now yet your light is shining through
I cover my eyes still all I see is you

Uhmm, not so good :P

Will you get far in life?
There is a Light that Never Goes Off, Anberlin (originally by The Smith)
And if a double-decker bus crashes into us
To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck kills the both of us
To die by your side, well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

No. I'm gonna die. LOL.

How do your friends see you?
Million, Number One Gun
The next time you find yourself in the water you hold tight
And why don't you ask yourself, what you're living for?
So cry about it, it's in your mind, it's in your way, it's underneath your skin
I guess I was wrong, the way I felt about you was right
So hold on, won't you hold on?

Happy, I just want to be happy with myself tonight

I guess they see me a little too lonely lol XD

Will you get married?
If You Don't Don't, Jimmy Eat World
I left you waiting (I know I left you waiting), at the least could we be friends?
Should have never started, ain’t that the way it always ends?
On my life I'll try today, there’s so much I felt I should say
But even if your heart would listen, I doubt I could explain

No. I won't. What's up with my life?! XD

What is your best friend's theme song?
Five Minutes to Midnight, Boys Like Girls
You know you wanna just let go, it's time to roll down the windows
Sing it, all we need so here we go

GET CRAZY! :D

What is the story of your life?
You Got, Mêlée
'Cause you got what I'm looking for, I got what you came here for
You know what we need, and we need each other
I want but I can't afford, you know what I'm saving for
You know what we need and I want it now

And she said, "Not without that ring on my hand, we can't go further"
And I said, "Wait until you see what I've got, what I've got in store for you then"

So don't hide your heart's desire, let me light your soul on fire
One crazy interview when I get alone with you

Mmmmmm. A sexy sexy song lyrics-wise. Pretty much my pursuer will line up from KL to Penang. JK HAHAHAHA.

What was high school life like?
Down On My Knees, Ayo
Do you really think she can love you more than me? Do you really, really think so?
Do you really think she can love you more than me? Baby, I know she won't
'Cause I loved you, unconditionally, I gave you even more than I had to give
I was willing for you to die, 'cause you were more precious to me, than my own life

I had a really tough first love. AHEM!

How can you get ahead in life?
Bad Habits, Number One Gun
You give it back with a kiss and your white-washed eyes underneath
And the colors created by scabs that bleed scrub away at your face
Do what you can. but in the end it's up to Him

I... have no idea. LOL.

What is the best thing about your friends?
True Love, Madina Lake
If I lost it all in a fireball would you be there for me?
If the money's gone and the future falls would you walk away?
'Cause my confidence is vanishing
Will you leave me starving here to wither down and disappear as you walk away?

OWHKAY WHY ARE ALL THE SONGS IN MY COMPUTER SO DEPRESSING LOL.

What's in store for this weekend?
Sweetness, Jimmy Eat World
I was spinning free with a little sweet and simple numbing me
What a dizzy dance
This sweetness will not be concerned with me

I guess I'm gonna have some super sweet moments but I won't let it come to my mind? :P

Describe your grandparents.
Alexithymia, Anberlin
Addictions fill the table where the family used to sit
And conversate, conversate to the sounds, to the sounds of a record player
With it's jumping needle and the lights that grow dim over time

They are... dead. Uhmm. I don't know. Really I need new songs lol.

How's your life going?
Nocturne, Chopin / Vladimir Ashkenazy
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME XD

What song will they play at your funeral?
How Many Times, Ayo
How many times I couldn’t sleep 'cause I saw you dying in my dreams
How many times you lied to me, raised my hopes and I believed
So many times you went away even though you promised me to stay
You always said soon it'll be ok but till today, nothing’s changed

SAD SAD LIFE. SIGH.

How the world sees you?
Connor, The Feeling
You found a way to change the world, a simple gift for every boy and girl
Always a piece for everyone, you showed them all that giving can be fun, giving can be fun

Connor, you got the life I want, Connor, I got it all so wrong
You'll never know, Connor, you've got the life I want

Those poisoned pills we passed around, they made us heavy and pulled us to the ground
But you were built from beams of sun, naive and unaffected by a world that's come undone
Oh what can be done?

Ah, I know I know I'm charitable, whatever :D

Do people secretly lust after you?
Your Call, Secondhand Serenade
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry, call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing in the car, do you remember Butterfly, Early Summer?
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet, like when we would meet

'Cause I was born to tell you I love you, and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
'Cause every breath that you will take when you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes
What's your fantasy? (What's your, what's your...)

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

The lyrics tell it all :)

How can you make yourself happy?
Waiting, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Waiting for this life to change seems like it's taking me forever and I can't hold on
This light is breaking into the day
This life is going to change seems like it's taking me forever and I can't hold on
This light is breaking into the day

By making changes :)

What should you do with your life?
Adalia, Madina Lake
She cries 'cause she's lost and she doesn't even know what she wants
Her eyes go cold as she begs the world to just let her go
(But I won't let her go)

I should... die. AHEM AHEM.

Will you ever have children?
Sweat the Battle Before the Battle Sweats You, Cute is What We Aim For
You hike your skirt and pull your shirt down to give those gents what they crave
Because as you say, you love to save, to save
Now let's, let's backtrack and back it up, we have a whole lot to prove

Uhmm, no? o_O

What song would you strip to?
A Praise Chorus, Jimmy Eat World
I'm on my feet, I'm on the floor, I'm good to go, now all I need is just to hear a song I know
I wanna always feel like part of this was mine, I wanna fall in love tonight

Mmmm. Nice :D

What does your mom think of you?
Why, Secondhand Serenade
A phrasing that's a single tear is harder than I ever feared
And you were left feeling so alone because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before, these days aren't easy anymore

She's having a hard time to bother about me lol.

What is your deep dark secret?
Runaway Train, Jamie Scott & The Town
There's nothing you can do
I've already started, started, started to unwrite every song I ever wrote about you
And as you lie to my heart, my heart, my heart lies there bleeding, bleeding
But as the wounds heal it makes this thing so damned easy

My eyes are on you, woman, but I'm a runaway train
Heading for the distance and I can breathe again
My thoughts are with you, woman, but I'm a runaway train
Heading for the distance and I'm losing my way
Stone me, stone me 'til I feel again

Geez. I'm making a man suffering. Hahaha.

What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
Naked As We Came, Iron & Wine
One of us will die inside these arms, eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard

I'm gonna kill him/her. LOL. And I'll spread the victim's ashes like I'm a good friend.

What is your personality like?
In The Dark of the Night, Anastasia OST
She'll be gone!
I can feel that my powers are slowly returning!
Tie my sash and a dash of cologne for that smell!
AS the pieces fall into place
I'll see her crawl into place!
Dasvidanya, Anya, your grace, farewell!

I'm evil. So evil, I'm ugly. Rasputin is ugly k!
LIKE WTF LOL.

What song will be played at your wedding?
A Wonderous Place, Tarzan OST
It's a beautiful beautiful score. Something people can close their eyes and sit back, listening to both the waves crashing and to the music.
Pretty pretty :)

Ooh, I tag the following people.
1. Waning
2. Rene
3. Vi Iyin
4. Sook Shiang
5. Wan Ee

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Good girl gone bad

>> Sunday, 18 May 2008

Wonderful Tonight, Michael Bublé

I don't like the Kawai grand piano I will be playing during my exam.

  1. The keys are yellow. Like a smoker's teeth. GROSSED OUT.
  2. It is slightly hard, no qualms about that. Still I hate it cuz my touch is too light and I TOTALLY SUCKED THAT DAY I WAS SO FRUSTRATED.
  3. When I press the una corda pedal the whole keyboard shifts to the right LOL.


However there IS one thing that I like about it:
THE SIZE :P

Umbrella is so addictive.
Oh and apparently I've been listening to Marié Digby's version lol!
She's half Irish half Japanese quarter American.
That explains her pretty delicate features :)

I have no reasons to go online.
Not that I actually have one. No, it's not a person. That was (not) too long ago.
I think I'll quit onlining.

I cried in the office today.
OMG.
Yeah.
WHY?!
Well...
Well what?
I broke up with my boyfriend.
WTF?!
Yeah.
-long silence-
F*ck the rice.
WTF??!!!
I got choke on rice.
-silence-
Yeah.
-silence-
And I coughed.
-silence-
I drank lotsa water.
-silence-
Still I was coughing like mad.
-silence-
And I cried.
-silence-
You know the kind of crying where the tears will just flow naturally?
-silence-
Yeah, that kind.
-long silence-
F*ck you, Win Zee.

OWHKAY DON'T BLAME ME WITH ALL THE SWEARING I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST FELT LIKE IT OMG I'M A GOOD GIRL GONE BAD SHIT XD













You know what?
I actually cried when I read about the earthquake in Sze Chuan.
I wonder why.

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Saya ponteng sekolah.

>> Thursday, 15 May 2008

Dear laling Joanne,

Happy 18th birthday :)

Don't get pissed off too often k! Mari kita berganding bahu bekerjasama ke arah Non-Pissed Off Land lol.

Don't swear too much k, only in moderate amount. (Swearing at racists is optional.)

I'll TRY to get used to speaking to you in English. Seriously, I don't understand why I, being a full-fledged banana already (I just discovered that yesterday), can't get comfortable speaking in English with you.

Really, I miss all the crazy times we had :( Now being a Form 6 student ("We're going to treat like you're orang dewasa") I don't think I - or we - can be that crazy and childish anymore.

Remember Pang Wayne HAHAHAHA XD (Eew I thought of the glue eew you weren't there to see it lol!)

Well, we've all changed, every one of us. It's just a matter of getting used to the differences and gap and trying to shorten the distance between. Though, I have a feeling none of us are really making an effort in doing so.

Mmmm. Or maybe we didn't think it was necessary?

Seriously, I've often thought that our basis of friendship isn't that strong. Emo-ed about this topic for quite a couple of times, perhaps I'm the only one among us who actually does that, being sentimental and all.

And then I learned to let go. (What's with the cliché lol.)

Well I didn't exactly learn to let go (perhaps there isn't anything to let go?), just learned to be a little selfish and not bother too much. Being sentimental and emo gets you nowhere; it'll only lead you to Emo Land, while everyone else is having the fun of their lives.

Yeah. I've learned to be selfish, because I've been taken advantage, unknowingly perhaps to those who've been taking advantage, because they were too young to know so. Even though being selfish gets you nowhere, it prevents you from sliding backwards.

(Think of the horrible society, babes! You'll get so pissed off when you graduate and start working, I'll console and rub it in for you while I'm still in my second / third year in university, har har :P)

Nah, I'm not emo. I've been emo about that too many times.

Yeah. Happy 18th birthday :)

Me.












The world is getting insane. Humans are getting crazier.
We're all gonna die soon.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PIANO EXAM IS LESS THAN A MONTH AND I FREAKING HAVE NO CONFIDENCE AT ALL ARGHHHHHH I HATE MY FINGERS T______________________T
I'M gonnna die :(
Save me.

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Sufferings: F*ck 'em.

>> Saturday, 10 May 2008

Driftwood, Travis


Kevin Carter's photo that won the 1994 Pulitzer prize for feature photography. The photo, along with its fame, was partly responsible for his suicide.


Ignorance is bliss?

That's just an excuse.

A salutation, to war journalists, for suffering emotional traumas as much as the physical pains of starvation and war, so that truth will not be gone.
The Ultimate in Unfair: The Plague of War Journalists

War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left. – Bertrand Russell










Random facts:
  1. I called up and booked 2 hours of practice with the grand piano I'm gonna play during my exam... RM60 gone.
  2. My programme note is almost done! Now all I have to do it get it checked and decorate it pretty pretty :)
  3. Bought my school shoes... RM26 gone.
  4. I USED THE COMPUTER IN THE OFFICE AND CURI-CURI ONLINE FOR A FEW MINUTES TEEHEE.
  5. I don't wanna be a psychologist anymore. GAH I'M FRUSTRATING MYSELF.
  6. Have you realized this blog seems kinda impersonal these days, more, eh, general, and more pictures (or videos) and less words? Mmmmm.
  7. iPod Shuffle is only RM189 only weih OMG ;)
  8. I like getting political, but I just don't get politics. And Malaysian politicians say the darndest things ever, I'm convinced I can be a better politician than any of the ugly uneducated potato heads. *Oops!*
  9. Jerome Kugan's début album Songs for a Shadow is nice! Listen to it at Popfolio or at his myspace. Support local artist la!










HAPPY MUMMIES MOMMY'S DAY :)

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My man gave me his shirt to sleep in ;D

>> Wednesday, 7 May 2008

There's A Class For This, Cute is What We Aim For

I'm lipsyncing every of CiWWAF's songs. SO ADDICTIVE X3
And I've been singing The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus's Your Guardian Angel these two days :)
Aiks, I'm out of tea already.
I've drank like two pots lol.






I'm not recyclable ;)


That's my man's shirt. OMG.

*cough*
My brother has grown so much (horizontally) he couldn't fit into this shirt, so he passed down up to me. If I were to be a little more petite it would be a mini dress with 3/4 sleeves.
(Oh, yes, I cut my fringe, lala, whatever :D)

He's taller than me already, and I think his voice is getting lower.

A Big Sister's Wish for Her "Beloved" Brother:
1. Grow taller than dad
2. At least 177cm / a head taller than me.
3. Be athletic, or just DON'T BE FAT.
4. Don't smoke.
5. Don't swear too much.
7. Has soft hair.
8. NO DUCKY VOICE PLEASEEEEE.

And again, I don't do "brotherly-sisterly" love. Ahem.
I always have this desire (HMMMM) to bring him out walk around like normal and then meet up with friends and then they'll go like "Your boyfriend ah? So cute weih!" Which will only happen when he doesn't look like me... and he does.
Hmph! :P





-SPOILERS AHEAD-

I finally read finish Blinding Light by Paul Theroux, after 1 or 2 months. It was difficult, as he uses difficult words and long sentence and pretty descriptions. Oh, and not to mention all the, eh, disturbing? sex throughout the whole book.

Not delicious at all, sex. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT read while you're eating. Pretty much you'll not want to drink anything.

*cough*

I didn't understand the last two paragraphs of the book. I read a few times and still I didn't get it. I'm not sure whether Slade Steadman actually died or he regained his sight, I don't know. Frustrating!

Oh, his girlfriend is BISEXUAL. OMG.

I especially love the description of their imagination of the Ecuador forest, when they were blindfolded and was being sent to a tribal village. Oh, gosh, I could imagine all the images and sounds around me, just like heaven, beautiful.

I think you could call this book an erotica?
It's just a coincidence that I seem to be reading eroticas, Waning. Don't get jealous ;D





Practice with vocalist yesterday went well :) Still, stressful.
PIANO EXAM OMG. Anyways I'm really proud that my pieces have improved, even if it means only slightly.
I'll have to calm myself down and cheer myself up in whatever ways I can, no matter how pathetic -.-;;

I'm sent to SMKBU for form 6. Mmmmm. Now where on earth is this school why does this school even have form 6. If I can't get transferred I might have to study A-levels...
NOOOOOOOO MY DREAM OF STUDYING IN A UNIVERSITY CANNOT BE RUINED NO NO NO.

If You Don't Don't, Jimmy Eat World

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Loveylovelove <3

>> Friday, 2 May 2008

Cat and Mouse, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Waning says the reason I blog halfway and decided to delete the post is because I was blogging about, eh, personal things.

Personal. Haha. Right.













Guys can be so super sweet when they tone down the drums and basses.
OWHKAY WHATEVER :)




The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Your Guardian Angel


I have to admit, Ronnie Winter's kinda gay, haha. I love the light bulb.
Though, I don't like the ending. Sounds very... irresponsible.

I was watching this music video, A Walk to Remember set to Your Guardian Angel, and I still felt like crying.
Till now I wonder whether the reason I cried reading the book and watching the movie (it's boring) was because God is talking to me :)
(No, I'm not gonna convert.)

Perk up your ears and listen to the lyrics. I think it feels more, what, full-of-feeling when you do that.



Like Enrique Iglesias's Hero.




No. I don't like Enrique Iglesias. Too pop, too full-of-sex-in-mind.
I would've liked the video a little more traditional love story kind :)
The lyrics, breathtaking, beautiful.



Speaking of breath.
Shayne Ward's Breathless is totally breathtaking, the first time I heard it, I had to stop what I was doing (hanging the clothes) and go in front of the TV (I had it on Astro radio) and just, uhmm, waltzed with an imaginary partner *cough*





I am a human too. We love the opposite sex.
(Mika has sexier teeth than him, hehehe :P Owhkay don't ask me what does 'sexy teeth' actually means cuz you see I was watching this video of Mika SPEAKING FRENCH and then I noticed his teeth and then I was like, omg, sexy. Yeah.)












Btw, I was going to post one of my, ahem, "poems" up here to end this post prettily and beautifully and breahtakingly.
Instead, I'm gonna wish you guys,
a belated Labour (May?) Day :)





Fred is like the ideal boyfriend. He's cute he sings he plays the piano he's athletic he makes people laugh he's thoughtful and he's full of child-like wonders.













It's so freaking hot these days!
My ears ache from the earphone lol.
What place is 24 hours behind Malaysia? It's not entirely impossible.

Guten nachtlich.




I'm gonna be so hyper this Sunday. Just because I'm working 4 hours in the morning :)

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