Eternity

>> Monday, 30 April 2007

The sun had just risen from the horizon. The birds were chirping cheerily, welcoming the warm sunshine. Sean Flynn lied on his bed, awake. He had been awake for quite some time, perhaps about two hours already. It was time to get ready for another day of work at the recording studio, but he could not find the energy to sit up and walk to the bathroom.

When the clock on his desk rang, he hit the snooze button and jumped out of his king-sized bed. It was still six in the morning. He had time to jog, he thought. It was long since he had been out to the nature and enjoyed the beauty of it. He brushed his teeth and washed his face quickly, then changed to his jogging suit and jogged out of his mansion.

He loved to jog, not at the jogging machine in the gym but at the outdoors. He loved everything of Mother Nature; every drop of water, every grain of sand, every ray of sunlight, everything, and he liked it more since he met Alexandria. They reminded him so much of her, especially those green eyes, as green as emerald, as green as the Morning Sea. She was just as beautiful as the nature.

She had always been the one who spent more time outside with the trees and flowers and sea. She loved it, and aspired to be a marine biologist in the future.

How long had it been? Was it ten years, or more? Ten years ago, when he realized she was gone he thought he could not live anymore, without her. Now, here he was now 26, a handsome R&B singer who had charmed all the girls in US, or perhaps the whole world. The most pathetic thing was that he could not even charm Alexandria that easily. He laughed bitterly.

`~`

Sean Flynn, only sixteen, walked into the fast food restaurant. He saw Alexandria sitting at the corner by herself, sipping slowly her chocolate milkshake, looking at the people outside the window. He sat opposite of her and ordered a huge glass of coke.

"Xan, I just wrote you a song; it’s called 'Eternity'. It sounds like this." Then he started humming the melody softly.

His voice was magnetic and melancholic, not to mention melodious. Yet, Alexandria was not listening attentively to him. She just nodded her head, sipping her chocolate milkshake and looking at the people outside the window. He noticed. He covered her hand with his. "What’s wrong, Xan?"

She turned to look straight into his eyes. She looked calm, but he could see fear under her emerald green eyes, but he did not say it out. She kept quiet. He wanted to break the silence, but he had no idea of what to say. Five seconds had passed, and they were still staring at each other. Was this going to last forever?

"Sean, dear, let’s break up. I can’t stand it any longer," she said finally.

He froze. He did not expect anything like that coming out from her pink lips. They were a pair of sweet loving couple, and nothing had happened in their relationship, except for the occasional childish arguments.

"But...but why, Xan? We were all right, there’s nothing wrong between us. If you’re pressured, just tell me, or-"

"No, Sean," she cuts him off rudely. "Nothing’s wrong between us. Something’s wrong with me. Forget about me, OK?" She stood up from the cushioned chair and walked out of the restaurant.

He sat there for a long time, then buried his face into his hands.

`~`

Without realizing a thing, ten years had already passed. During these years, he found out from her friends that she had brain tumour. It was malignant. Her doctor arranged her for an operation in Russia to remove the tumour. She thought she had no chance of living. She did not want him to know, or to get hurt because her death, so she broke up with him.

Such a silly girl, Sean thought, smiling.

`~`

Sean was recording his new song in the recording studio. He had recorded the song for a few days already, yet he could not satisfy nor the producer or himself.

Alexandria left today, ten years ago. St. Valentine’s Day. How irony could that be? He tried to forget about her, but he failed to. The song ‘Eternity’ brought back the bittersweet memories she had left for him, but it made him weary. For the whole of ten years, he felt like he was an incomplete human being. He wanted Alexandria. Although many beautiful women had been around him because of his status, he still was lonely.

"Sean, we’ll just continue tomorrow," the producer said to him. Sean thanked the producer, picked up his jacket from the sofa, and walked out of the recording studio.

He drove aimlessly on the street and came to the fast food restaurant he and Alexandria usually came ten years ago. The building was still there, but it looked more antique. He put on a cap and a pair of glasses to disguise himself.

He ordered a glass of chocolate milkshake, just like before. He took his milkshake and came to the place where he and Alexandria usually sat. He just sat there and stared blankly out the window, did not realise that the table was already taken.

"Excuse me, Mister, do I know you?" the lady asked. She was drinking a glass of chocolate milkshake, too.

Sean heard her, he turned and looked at her. The green eyes, the pink lips, the puzzled expression and the way she tilted her head, they all belonged to Alexandria. It was she.

"Alexandria. Xan," he called out, taking off his glasses.

"How did you know my-" She stopped and gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. Sean Flynn, the famous international singer, was right before her eyes. Moreover, it was Sean. The sixteen-year-old Sean she knew, the Sean she had thought about everyday in the past ten years. "Oh my God, Sean..."

He covered her other hand with his, smiling at her. She smiled back at him.

They were willing to exchange the ten years, those years that seemed so short yet so long, thinking of each other, with this five seconds of forever.

`~`

In the recording studio, Sean sang, "I will catch for you the stars, if you promise to give me your love for the rest of eternity..."

He looked out the soundproof glass. Alexandria, with her thumb up, mouthed to him, "You’re awesome!" He smiled at her.

Everyday with Alexandria seemed like a heavenly eternity. He was finally a whole again.

OMGGGG I cant believe I wrote this to MPH for some competition! Damn embarrassing xP

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Sick & Photos

>> Sunday, 29 April 2007

I am so sick.
*cough cough sniff sniff atishoo! atishoo!*
Yes I am that sick.
I hv *cough cough* cough, *sniff* flu and fever! OMG! My eyes my face my body are burnin'. Like Ghost Rider. I'm hawt.
After a really short visit to the doctor I got my medicine.


Mau saya mati ke?!


With a tablespoon of cough medicine. Sweet like hell. I started wondering why do kids love cough medicine. Including pei par kou. Wah! Damn sweet! A tablespoon some more!
After a 2-hour sleep the hawtness heat went down and I'm no longer hawt.
Being sick makes me a pig. I cant take a shower. GOOSH. Sleep the whole day. No appetite. Got appetite also cannot eat la. Cannot eat peanut banana apple watermelon biscuits. My life source some more! So I hv been eating PB&J sandwiches and 3-in-1 Milo Fuze. Heavenly.


I lurve PB&J!


Being sick forces me to read. Cuz I hv to wait for the drowsiness to come so that I can sleep (HAHA). I wanted to read something light, and I chose Before I Forget by Andre Brink (check out about the book). Which is really heavy. I like this paragraph:
There are two moments in the relationship with every woman I have known in my life, which have brought me closer to understanding - even if it was without ever fully getting there -what it means to be alive. One is the moment of orgasm. Not my own, but that of the woman I am with. Because it is immeasurably more wonderful than anything I could hope to feel myself. Seeing - hearing, feeling, knowing = her in the throes of ecstasy, does not primarily bring a sense of achievement, the Little Jack Horner syndrome (Look what a clever boy am I), but a sense of awe: this is what a human individual - this she who is you [Rachel] - is capable of. It is an unfathomable combination of two sensations which ought to be essentially different, and yet are merged: it is a sharing, almost a fusion, which leaves me with a feeling of unspeakable joy, even of gratitude (Thank you for allowing me to be with you in the ultimate moment; but also a feeling of utter solitude. I can see it, hear it, feel it, taste it - but I can never be on the inside of it with you. I cannot even be sure whether I really know what it is like. Is it 'like' my own? Or incomparable? Just as I can never know if what you see at any given moment is exactly the same as what I see. We look at a colour (hey, he uses Brit spelling!). We both call it red. But it is only because we have been taught to call it by that name. There is no guarantee - not ever - that we see it in the same way, that your red is my red. How much more momentous is something like orgasm. But for that very reason your solitude, your quite literal wrapped-upness in it, cannot but bring that experience of what for lack of a better word I call awe.

The other moment is very, very different. And yet not, if one really thinks about it, so different at all. It is the moment when I wake up with a woman in my arms, and see her still sleeping. I raise myself on an elbow. I gaze at her without even for a moment being able to understand anything at all of what I see. You: sleeping. The one I have shared a special experience with; the one I have shared hours, days, months, perhaps years of my life with. Yet, here, in this instant, so utterly confirmed in your youness that you are turned into a mystery, I am conscious of being on the outside of it: it actually makes me feel an intruder, someone who should not be here at all, should not be allowed to gaze upon you in this ineffable moment of sleep. Because here you are totally vulnerable, you have no protections against the world. Except the protection of your own self. Which, being unfathomable, leaves you so naked that you may just as well have been peeled from your skin, a grape, a transparent fruit, light in the heart of light. And that is a mystery, for ever.

And yet by falling asleep beside me, you have sanctioned, silently, this intrusion and this gaze. To sleep with someone can be more intimate than making love. It is a yielding, and a trust, that cannot be compared to anything else. You have granted me this. Can I ever be worthy of it? This is the moment I come closest to understanding something of that overused and misunderstood word: love.
I'm gonna chunk every photos in my photobucket in this post.

In Leo I.U.:












Waning's little birthday celebration:










In Interact I.U.:

He says if Waning develops/posts this photo he'll kill her.
HAHA I betrayed him.


Again.


Waning loves jelly.


Food! Not really yum. Cuz it's orange/spicy.


Hsiu Ling is bored.


SKTM choir. They RAWK. They hv voices of angels.


The mimes. They RAWK.


African guy says he loves me. HAHA.


Si Hui's little birthday celebration:



So stressed when I'm deciding on the caption -____-;;


HAHA.











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尹绮

>> Friday, 27 April 2007

好像是第一次用华语来部落格!
好紧张好紧张~
亲爱的部落格大概三岁了,也没用华语,除了自己的作文什么的。
(南极星好慢啊~还要一个一个字打)
嗯,既然是第一次,我就干脆介绍我自己好了。

我是张尹绮,在今年的9月26日,我就16岁了。对,老了,不用各自说悄悄话,我听到的。你迷信的话,我是不太漂亮的天平座O型血。学校家庭背景什么我就不说了,因为那些并不有趣。
人家说我很爱扮可爱,也有人觉得我很自恋。嗯,其实,我觉得,还好。因为闷,所以才会扮可爱、照照镜子。
妈说我太懒惰。其实说我勤劳聪明的人,我总觉得那些只是客套话,亲戚朋友嘛,免不了。不过,我也不觉得我很懒。我只是个凭感觉的人。如果我喜欢,我会投入110%的心去做。讨厌的话,就什么都别说。
可能平时不太注意自己的感觉,也太顾虑别人的感觉,甚至把他们放在我之上。
在介绍自己的时候,我是完全诚实,不懂为什么。
我可以很迷糊,因为我不专心。发呆是我的专长,不过,很多时候,我应该不会飘太远吧…
我不太关心别人对我的意见,也不太关心我自己,所以我是个很凌乱的人。
我很幼稚,因为我不成熟。
没有主见、做个选择须用上小时、也很龟毛。星座网页上说,龟毛的个性吸引男生噢。好怪。
我不想被认为很女性化,可是我很喜欢逛街、高跟鞋、化妆品、美美的衣服!所以,我想引用Avril Lavigne: I'm so girlie, it's not even funny.
她是我的偶像她本人,不是她的音乐。她坚持不有婚前性行为,性格很爽朗、坚持自己的主见,也很有出淤泥而不染的自信。很欣赏她。
我很喜欢、很喜欢雨天。我也喜欢淋雨。因为我有一种被拥抱的感觉。对,头上那个heading是我想说的话。
我喜欢弹钢琴。很喜欢叮叮当当的声音。我想拉小提琴,吹笛子、萨克斯。嗯,古筝和中国笛子也可以。弹琴之余,我也喜欢制造“噪音”-唱歌!我可以在任何时候唱任何歌曲。我可以在开心的时候唱心碎的歌,也可以在伤心的时候听开心的歌。我可以在大庭广众唱歌,也可以一个人对唱情歌。我就是那么爱唱歌
有什么尽管问吧。我有一段很不羞耻的梦-我妄想当个歌星!对,你没看错,不需要擦眼睛眼镜。张尹绮要当歌星,快来讨签名。
本小姐超爱林俊杰、大面饭先生(Damien Rice)和铁和红酒先生(Iron & Wine)。林俊杰有把很舒服的磁性声音;大面饭先生来自爱尔兰,声音音乐强劲有力;铁和红酒先生的声音像徐徐的海风,音乐像艳阳,很清新,超爱他。
(择偶条件我就不写了,哈哈!)
我很喜欢音乐剧,从《窈窕淑女》认识了奥黛丽(Audrey Hepburn),虽然死了,但我还是认为她是世上最漂亮的女性,美过珍妮花(Jennifer Lopez)和安祖丽娜(Angelina Jolie)!从《Sound of Music》认识了茱丽·安得鲁斯(Julie Andrews),认为她的歌喉没人能比得上!对,她们就是那么地棒!
我喜欢书本。不,不是厚厚无聊的课本。我喜欢进书店,尤其是二手书店。我喜欢薄皮的书,不喜欢厚皮的,不懂为什么。所以,我也喜欢写写东西,虽然都是不成熟的废话、投诉、幻想。我不是个抽象的人,所以我大多数都不明白诗和画。
我喜欢吃甜和咸,吃的食物要看起来至少看得顺眼。所以你可以说我用眼睛,才用嘴巴吃饭。
我不喜欢玫瑰花,喜欢茉莉太阳花。星星花也不错,英文名很可爱,叫作Baby's Breath,花语是永远的爱浪漫吧?

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MY List

>> Thursday, 26 April 2007

Omg! 301st post! I blog too much! O_O

Join MY list (even though I dunno what's it for)!
#1 Go to SOMEWHERE
#2 Follow the instructions!
Happy trying! xD

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Carlos Speaks

>> Tuesday, 24 April 2007





Carlos has a very radio DJ English. But but but it's nice. Must be really chunted to train until that high level.
Nobody screams. So cold la. -_______-;; Lee Hom JJ say "I love you Malaysia" and the whole crowd screams. Weird bunch of Il Divo fans. WEEEEEEIRD.

Waning said her bro has this seems-to-be-cute tutor which might be her tutor as well. She wants him to teach her about Mandarin (curse you waning), Add Maths and ____________.
I sooo want to post that 2 words up. ;)
Ahem.
Waning is Winzeephyllic. Or WinZeephobic, I dunno.
Speaking of cute...
Joel Wong! I wanna see you with Tracy Wong! You must come on the next practice!
You! Yes, you! Even though you smoke and explained the reason why guys prefer virgins, I still wanna see why she likes you so much! Waning says the way Nigel blogs is like how Matt does, so I wanna see. Cuz I like the way he blogs. I dunno why.
Seems-to-be-cute tutor! I juga mahu tengok awak!
Wee from Project Superstar is damn cute. He has this really nice voice.

Spanish is similar to English. Waaait. La musica lia mo la romantica what lingua paperona wth? Ok anyway I heard only La musica and then what lia mo la?! then romantica then some stuff then lingua and pepperoni.
I wanna go to Spain!
Waning says she dont mind being Carlos punya mistress. She's the one suggest it some more. Tsk tsk. And I told Chuu Khai that she wants to be more physically with him. Chuu Khai added that Carlos will sprinkle cash.
Speaking of cash, I'm broke.
I guess ppl will hv a really crazy period of being a fan. I entertain myself. xD

Waning, I rock. ;)

Iron & Wine is nice. Chen Ying Jian listens to really alternative music.

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Interact I.U.

>> Monday, 23 April 2007

Interact I.U. was DA BOMB! Woot!
Idunnowhatshisname is a really cool... boy. He's like Wei Jin #2. Personality and voice. GOSH. When he called me it's like Wei Jin calling me.
(My name must be really nice to say cuz Waning and Jo and Iyin likes to add 'Win Zee' in every sentence and every SMS. xD Win Zee Win Zee Win Zee Win Zee. My name is a tongue twister.)
WHOAAAA miming is cool. They are red mimes.
I decided that guys who play the violins are damn charming. So Quan Yuan is charming, besides the fact that he looks like Nicholas Teo, which looks like Kim Jae Won, which means he's cute AND charming. xD
Pn. Daljit would look nice in the Punjab dance. xD
African guy loves me! xD I know cuz he was pointing at me and sang "I love you". xD Waning knows about it HAHA so go ask her.
"You're my Chinese queen, you're my Japanese queen, you're my Kenya queen, you're my Malaysian queen~"
Waning: So flower heart. Tsk tsk.
Photos will post up LAAATER, until I installed photoshop.
SK Taman Megah choir was SOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOD. They hv the voices of angels. Angels who wear jeans. I wanna see their table cloth uniform.
We're aubergines. Check out Waning's blog and ignore Il Divo.
I wanna see Joel. Together with Tracy! Cuz he seems cute in the phone HAHA.

There's 2 Jun Jie in DJ, or afternoon sessions, that I know. Lim Jun Jie (his parents went too overboard HAHA) and Zhun Chieh. Hmph.
I wanted to tell Zhun Chieh that he's cute but I always forgot. And I dont dare la xD I'm not "that type". I'm so bitchy O_O I think I went overboard. Eek.
He said he saw me in school. I said 'hi' to him on Friday and he was like shocked and surprised and I think he couldnt react quick enough lol! Very shocking meh?
Maybe I'll pop in the library on Tuesday and say 'hi' to him. Waning, learn from me. xD

On Friday he overlooked at me counter-ing. There's this book unavailable, so I did some stuff and available-d it. And then he, the one who talks the LOUDEST, suddenly like very soft and gentle. Yes, gentle. "You know a lot about computer, huh." OMGGG.
Ok I think too much la.
(But it's trueeee. His voice is soft, that's of course, cuz he's talking to me, and gentle.)
Ignore me. Dont ask me who he is. Noooo not even you, Joanne Telur.




Your Birthdate: September 26



You love being in love... so much so that it's very hard for you to be single.

Unfortunately, it's difficult for you to stay in love over time. Too many people intrigue you!

Only your true love will be able to keep you interested over time.



Number of True Loves You'll Have: 2



Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4



You are most compatible with people born on the 8th, 17th, and 26th of the month.


It's very easy for me to be single and stay in love over time. I dont think I'd been distracted!




You Are the Index Finger



You are ambitious, driven, and capable.

You aren't afraid to take responsibility for your actions - or place the blame on whoever deserves it.

You are honest, free thinking, and objective. You see things in your own way - and you aren't afraid to let everyone know about it.



You get along well with: The Thumb



Stay away from: The Ring Finger


I shall not marry. To Jo: Nooo sex doesnt attract me xD.




You Are Independent Sexy



You drive men crazy with your "playing hard to get act"

Except, it's really not an act at all.

You're a strong, sexy woman with her own life and interests.

And that makes men even more interested in you!


Ooh.

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To beloved Wan Ying:

>> Wednesday, 18 April 2007

HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY CHAN WAN YING aka Shampagne aka Shampoo!


Thy Royal Highness, Princess Shampagne of DJ HAHA


Woot you're 17 now.
01. Lame
02. Musically + literature-ly + performing arts-ly inclined
03. Glass bottle syndrome
04. Child-like/Childish
05. [edit:] Stubborn
06. Dependent
07. Naive?!
08. Violent *gasp*
09. Il Divo is GOD
10. Camwhore
11. Impatient
12. Princess-y, girlie
13. Classical/old-fashioned HAHA
14. Pink & Green rox
15. Romantic/xiao3 niao3 yi1 ren2
16. Afraid of loud noises (it's thundering outside! Bing bang wham!)
17. Afraid of pain (rubber band! balloon!)
So there you are, 17 Facts about Wan Ying!
I know I'm sweet. Say thank you.

[edit:]
Ok since you requested it...


Nicer pic of yours (alone)

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Quizzes

>> Sunday, 15 April 2007




Your Personality is Somewhat Rare (ENFP)



Your personality type is enthusiastic, giving, cautious, and loyal.



Only about 8% of all people have your personality, including 9% of all women and 6% of all men

You are Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.






What Your Hands Say About You



You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.



Flexible and broad minded, you can fit in to any situation. There's no telling where your life will take you.



Consistent and reliable, you like to count on structure and routine in your life.



Your emotions tend to be nervous and potent. Your energy - both positive and negative - deeply impacts your life.






Your Five Factor Personality Profile



Extroversion:



You have low extroversion.

You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.

A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.

You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.



Conscientiousness:



You have medium conscientiousness.

You're generally good at balancing work and play.

When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.

But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.



Agreeableness:



You have high agreeableness.

You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.

Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.

You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.



Neuroticism:



You have medium neuroticism.

You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.

Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.

Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.



Openness to experience:



Your openness to new experiences is high.

In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.

You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.

A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

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Random

I miss my bloggy woggy. My comp somehow merajuk and it broke down. Reformat pun tak guna. Hmph.
So we're expecting a new comp! xD
Homo sapiens said that my previous post was very un-understandable. Apparently it was too random and hv some typo and grammar errors la xD

April Snow
April Snow is VERY non-verbal. But Son Ye-Jin is just oh-so beautiful.

Oh, yes, Joanne Teo, I told you to read my blog.
Actually I wanted to post a post especially for you (I know I'm sweet), but I didnt hv time that day. -__-;;
So here it is.

To beloved Joanne Teo:

Okayyy homo sapiens said you've changed. Well I'm a homo sapien too whose knee would jerk when hit on a part of the knee under the scapula. (hah!)
Anyways, you are more like a wanna-hv-fun teenager. Let's see. You dont mind being photographed. You've become more outgoing. And you're more like a fun teenager. Ah.
Why like so little one?
I just watched Music Station in Animax and John Legend was the foreign guest. He is so cute! Why? Because...
John Legend #1
Omg! JJ black version! *gasp*


When I was browsing through my photobucket I saw this pic in the JJ folder... thing.

Saya tak ada mata untuk tengok.


I hv to pass up Moral project on Monday. And I owe Yam 3 laporans, 1 essay and 12 photos and 4 photos undeveloped.
I am sooo DOOOOOMED.
I took a looong nap on Thursday, from 4 to 7. Mom wanted to fetch sis to tuition, so she woke me up. I sat up and sat for a long long time. I touched my clothes. It's 'yesterday's'. What, morning already? I didnt take my bath or take dinner? I didnt do my homework? I'm late to school? Why isnt mom rushing me?
OHHHH it's still the same day. HAHA.

So anyway, speaking of JJ, there's a guy called LIM JUN JIE in F1 I think. *gasp*
Pang Wayne is a VERY yellow guy. Tsk tsk. And I'm angelic. Grace Chia is interested in Joel Prashant. *oops*
I realize I talk to ppl (new ppl/strangers) in English. Even in an all-Chinese environment. Umm usually. I hv to take some time to switch. Omg. I'm a banana! Side effects on consuming too much bananas.
I'm interested in Shakespeare! Omg! But Olde English is Greek to me. (Ooh an idiom!) I could read the same dialogue for like 5 minutes? before moving on to the next. But usually I skip haha. Romeo and Juliet is so slow. 12 year old sudah boleh married. Siigh. A Midsummer Night's Dream is uhh weird. The Rape of Lucrece is so un-rape-like. They talk too much. I'm reading Venus and Adonis for 2 days and I'm still on the 2nd page of 8 pages. HAHA.
I do like what Romeo said to Benvolio, his cousin and friend, about love:
Why, such is love's transgression.--
Griefs of mine own lie heavy in my breast;
Which thou wilt propagate, to have it press'd
With more of thine: this love, that thou hast shown,
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs;
Being purg'd, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vex'd, a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:
What is it else? a madness most discreet,
A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.

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Emo

>> Saturday, 7 April 2007

I'm typing all out again, the third time, because the first time was a physical error as in I accidentally pressed back, second time because it sux. Oh gosh. I dont what got into me.
Maybe I'm feeling emo.
To those ppl who desperately wants to see me emo, here it is.
Laame ppl!
And if you desperately want to see me cry, get me some soapy movies. Or just scold me like hell.
I'm like so fragile. xD

I'm collecting cute little glass bottles. Bird's Nest, for example. They're so cute that it's impossible for me not to look at it.
And I'm supposed to hv glassophobia because I committed suicide once. Hmm.

I am FAAAT. BMI arent accurate. I fall in the normal range. And I'm fat.
How do ppl look so nice even though they're fat chubby voluptuous? Hmm.
That's why I need confidence. But that's not why I want in the first place though.

Were you talking to me, Waning? I'm so sorry to be so insensitive, but I was in the good mood that time. Blame it on Tai that idiot disrespectful guy xD
Oh no, Waning. I think I'm confused. Dont ask me at all. I'll tell you in some other ways.
Shit. What the hell.
(Ok I am obviously emo. Cuz I'm cursing.)
I think I hv philophobia. Ah. I think I'll stay single.
Life will be boring. *yawn*

I'm naive. And I hate myself
Making ppl cry is unforgivable. To me. Cuz you hurt ppl! And you dont like it when you scratch your knees or dislocate your shoulder riight.
But that's like a normal thing in relationships. (ANY relationships)
What world! Arent crying is supposed to be limited to soapy movies and dramas and touching or happy stuff?
Welcome to Win Zee's World.
And I'm naive.

I realized that one way to commit suicide is to be emo. Indirectly, of course. Being emo is like a slight depression. And severe depression causes suicidal cases cuz they lost hope on world or ppl. So yeahh being emo is very dangerous.
Haha wth.
I am dikephillic. JUSTICE SHALL BE DONE. I'm not lawyer person, and lawyers in reality doesnt work like in Love Story in Havard or HK dramas. Hmph. That's really dramatic. And I want dramatic. xD

I feel like talking to myself some more. But I dont know what to write. Besides that I'M FAT AND I'm going to Leo I.U. tomorrow! Whee~! Jo and I (and maybe some other ppl) will camwhore kao kao and be vaain kao kao.
I cant believe I'm wearing heels tomorrow! If it's Jo you'll be seeing me tripping.

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Random

>> Sunday, 1 April 2007

To fellow homo sapiens:
I'm not in a good mood in the morning, so dont make stupid lame jokes about me, cuz I'll say meeaannn things.

I am bored. AND FAT OMG I CAN'T STAND MYSELF.
So my results suck.
BM - 62
BI - 77
Biology - 55
Physics - 53
Chemistry - 40
Add Maths - 67
Maths - 88
Moral - 67
EST - 58 (WTH!!)
Sejarah - 57
Total: 624/10
Average: 62.4
Position: 15
Boohoo.

guess how much i love you and morning moon and lost wings is niice. So melancholic.
Cheers Darlin' is sexayy. The front part. Clarinet is sexayy. And whispering is sexayy. xD But it's ticklish, even through earphones. I'm allergic to whispers xD
Just where to upload music?! Ripway is slow, Mydatabus is slower! Sheesh!

We know more about the outerspace than we know about our planet's oceans.

Win Zee says: Everyone deserves compliments!
I dont trust ppl. Easily. But thank you! =D
Win Zee thinks: Being emo and crying is everyone's privilege.
Win Zee thinks: We should start conserving the environment.
But it's so hard. =(
Win Zee says ALOUD: Listen! The rain, the wind, the sun, the rainbow... Malaysia is beautiful. And so are we. =) The homo sapien beside you might be crying you know.
Life is not black and white. It's grey. And when you see the world as unfair, it's fair.
I realized that life could be fair, justice - if homo sapiens arent greedy/selfish!

This is so random. But somehow I'm used to it. Haha. I'm a random person!

I MUST exercise!! I must at least lose those flabby butterfly wings arms!! And not so much spare tyres!! And thinner thighs and butt!! I hv an abundance of fat. And my BMI indicates that I'm in the normal range.
Since my chin is uh sharp (?!) so my face is thin. I think. And that gives me the illusion that I didnt gain any weight. HAHA I deceive myself.
I hv acrophobia.
List of Phobias
Alektrophobia: HAHA fear of chickens HAHA.
Sorry. xP

Form 2s are so omg.
Yesterday I was ronda-ing the library as usual. The book shelves. Guo Tung should learn to differentiate Ketua Harian and Ketua Majalah. Nigel is the only responsible inside-room commitee HAHA. So anyway I was jaga-ing the book shelves. I thought there was no importance in jaga-ing so I just briefly walked around. Mana tau ada orang sedang pat tuo fa hao! The girl was sitting on the blue couch which must have taken from pejabat, the guy was holding her on the waist. Omg I was so furious. I went to them and said "Excuse me; please dont do this in the library" and pointed at them. I am so nice. I forgot to add "or else get out".
Pang Wayne told me last year the importance of jaga-ing book shelves. "...in case people are kissing."
Ah, something exciting before I graduate.
HAHA Joanne Teo HAHA.
Sighh these ppl must have thought I'm a nice person (I am but that's not the point now). They are just form 2, cute cute short short some more! Wth!
We mature a little too early.

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One of these days

Got this from an e-mail

A friend of mine opened his wife's underwear drawer and picked up a silk paper wrapped package:

"This, - he said - isn't any ordinary package."

He unwrapped the box and stared at both the silk paper and the box.

"She got this the first time we went to New York , 8 or 9 years ago. She has never put it on, was saving it for a special occasion. Well, I guess this is it. He got near the bed and placed the gift box next to the other clothings he was taking to the funeral house, his wife had just died. He turned to me and said:

"Never save something for a special occasion. Every day in your life is a special occasion".

I still think those words changed my life.

Now I read more and clean less.

I sit on the porch without worrying about anything.

I spend more time with my family, and less at work.

I understood that life should be a source of experience to be lived up to, not survived through. I no longer keep anything. I use crystal glasses every day.. I'll wear new clothes to go to the supermarket, if i feel like it.

I don't save my special perfume for special occasions, I use it whenever I want to. The words "Someday..." and "One Day..." are fading away from my dictionary. If it's worth seeing, listening or doing, I want to see, listen or do it now. I don't know what my friend's wife would have done if she knew she wouldn't be there the next morning, this nobody can tell. I think she might have called her relatives and closest friends. She might call old friends to make peace over past quarrels. I'd like to think she would go out for Chinese, her favorite food. It's these small things that I would regret not doing, if I knew my time had come.

I would regret it, because I would no longer see the friends I would meet, letters... that I wanted to write

"One of these days".

I would regret and feel sad, because I didn't say to my brother and sisters, son and daughters, not times enough at least, how much

I love them.

Now, I try not to delay, postpone or keep anything that could bring laughter and joy into our lives..
And, on each morning, I say to myself that this could be a special day..

Each day, each hour, each minute, is special.

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