Let me express myself

>> Monday, 29 May 2006

WARNING: This post is seriously long, crappy and windy. Please navigate to other blogs if you don't have enough patience.

Exams are finally OVER!! I feel like me again. ^^ I found out that studying last minute, esp in upper form, is impossible. No matter how late (or early) you stayed up, it seems like whatever you're studying is not enough. This explains Physics and Biology. -_____-;;
I'm quite sure I'll fail my Physics and BM. Physics cuz, you know, I never study Physics and I dont know how to apply. Sad. And for BM, haha, I interpretted the essay question wrongly. They wanted aktiviti and I wrote amalan. Ah! SAD!

ABRSM website is so hard to navigate. O_O I wonder how did my teacher got the theory results from the net. Anyway, I got 81 for my theory! Merit! Haha! Finally a name for my result. Lol. She said I got the highest among the other G6 candidates in the school. Yay~
But, ARGH, my practical. CURSES to oral and sight reading. Thank God my rhythm is, well, not to be perasan or anything but, quite good. Boohoo, if I fail any one in my practical (lets say, oral), I have to say "Sayonara" to music therapist.

My cousin brother came a few days ago with her GF.

Cousin: Eh, I hv some Daniel's songs. You want?
Zee: I'm out of the obsession, so, uh, thanks but no thanks.
Cousin: Dont like him already?
Sis: She have a lot of Daniel's pics in her folder (damn busybody. anyways, I checked (akaka, dont rmb) and found out that I've deleted all, including JJ's pics. I think they're rather useless. Haha.) and she hv Daniel's autograph! (that must be loong time ago; I saved the autograph in my disket.)
Cousin: Autograph?
Zee: Uh, yea. He sent it to me.
Cousin and sis: How?
Zee: Seriously complicated. (Nah, not at all. I send emails to Dong Fang and he appeared to be free so he sent them to me. But I felt so embarassed. LOL!)
Cousin: Oh~ You suddenly grew up so much.
Zee: AHEM. (Hey, I'm a teen for 3 years already! Wait, that means I'm 15, not 16. Oops.)
Cousin: Got somebody pikat you ar?
Zee: No!
Then the conversation went on.
Grow up = dipikat? What type of equation is this? Akaka.
Boohoo, so sad la, dianggap sebagai seorang budak when I'm already F4 and experiencing the almost-sweet 16. Well, it doesnt make any difference whether you're 15 or 17. As long as you're in F4, you're experiencing the life of a 16-year-old in Msia. Well that's what I think.
Eh, once Iyin told me that some guy with sexy voice picked up the phone when she phoned to my house. Is it my cousin bro? I mean, his voice is magnetic, and to me, magnetic = sexy. Haha. I forgot to ask him. Hmm.

Another disadvantage of being a jump-class-er is that you mixed up your age. Take my example. Haha. If you ask me, "How old are you?" I would answer, "Uh, *thinks for a while* 15. Eh, I thought I'm 16." Akaka. Do you think jump-class-er would be more mature, for that they hv to act an age older? Ok exclude me.

Since I told Shampoo and the gang that "scary" dream I had last year, I might as well just write it out here, hah! It's seriously fun, but at the same time embarassing.
I was still at 3 Cengal that time. I was sitting at my place studying, The Soap's Queen staring blankly on the notice board. Japanese Fox came by. He talked to The Soap's Queen. She seemed frustrated and they argued. I thought that this (arguing) is common among couples, so I just continue studying. And then they, uh, umm, kissed each other on the lips, very passionately. They, uh, went rolling on the floor, The Soap's Queen's legs were like wrapping around Japanese Fox's body, Japanese Fox was, of course, on top of her. I looked at them, feeling embarassed and disgusted. I walked away, to let them have a time of their own. After some time, which was like 10 mins or so, I returned to my place, thinking that they might had "finished" already. Manatau belum. I thought, "seriously, your mouth is not tired wan ar?" So I went away again and I passed by Choon Seng.
In case you wonder why Choon Seng was there, it's because last time I thought he's cute. Uh huh. You see, that's the reason why I dreamed of him. Lol. When the class decided that he's the #1 hottest guy in Cengal, I went "oh no, did they read my mind?" and stuff. Akaka. When I heard him say "f*ck" the cuteness suddenly disappeared. Hmm. Does manners or language affect one's cuteness?
Jo had the feeling that Japanese Fox and The Soap's Queen like each other, but they didn't dare to express like those ppl you watch in K- and J-dramas. Akaka. Well, to say the truth, when The Soap's Queen told me that Japanese Fox stayed in a cave in her territory, I too hv the feeling! High 5, Jo. At one time I even "spied" on them. Hey, let me hv the freedom to imagine! Human rights wei. LOL. Until now I still hv teeny weeny bit of that feeling.
The Soap's Queen will kill me when school reopens. And I hope nobody will ask and also bocor who the h*ll Japanese Fox is.
The dream is really scary, The Soap's Queen and gang. Really. Scary. And it's scarier to write it out. I dont know why. Hmm. Not the person to write romance novel? Ah, sad. LOL.

OMG this post turns out to be so long. But I'm not done yet! =)

Ah, Tom Hanks is so ugly! Especially in The Da Vinci Code! He looked OK in Forrest Gump though. Haha.
I dont care how's the movie. I wanna watch it.
You know what? Having an unique name is torturing. (Vin Zee, Win See, Wan Zee (Mr Ooi is HOPELESS), Teong Zee, Incy wincy spider, etc.) Having an unique name which rhymes with the oh-mighty-Da Vinci is torturing. Being born in a goat year AND having an unique name which rhymes with the oh-mighty-Da Vinci is torturing. Why?
Behold, Da Win Zee Goat!
Oh seriously, this coincidence is being to coincidental to be a coincidence.
Hmm, I still like my name. ;)
No matter how common is a name, the name is the most beautiful language to him/her.
That's why I always try my best not to forget names and also pronounce the name correctly. It's like so insulting and so hurtful if I forget his/her name or pronounce the name wrongly. Also I try not to make fun of other's name, though I always do that. Haha. But, if I really cant help it, let me make fun of it secretly, pretty please? =p

This happens in the last POL class.
Iyin: Do you hv anyone you like?
Zee: No.
Iyin: Lieing; how can you not have?
Zee: Serious, no, for now. You know what? My cousin doesnt has any. When I was playing a personality and one of the question is "Do you have anyone you like before?", I answered "Yes", she said "Eh, I dont have and you already have?!" and I thought "are kampung ppl like that?" She's not really from a kampung; just from a small town.
Iyin: Impossible la. That means last time you got la. Tell me.
Zee: Uh, why?
Iyin: You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine. It's like, self-assurance. If you bocor my secret, I can also bocor yours.
Zee: *dont quite understood* Uh.. huh. Tell me yours first.
Iyin: No, you.
Zee: K la k la, but I can only tell you my first. I crushed on him when I was at Std 6, blahs. (Hey, Iyin, where's yours?)
I dont get the self-assurance part. Haha.
Since she didnt ask for his name, I nv told her too. Haha. He's not in DJ anyway, so quit your finding. ;)
Why do girls often like guys who are elder than them by years? More mature? Hmm, but age does not affect much on maturity; it just depends on the mind and also how much they've absorb about the world. *nods* I'm the exception. Akaka.
No, wait. Am I really the exception?
When ppl "forbids" me to involve in some "adult" stuff (like gambling) and told me "Little kids dont get involved", I'm really pissed off because, I thought, I'm not a child anymore! (but that attitude means that I'm still acting like a child. Akaka) But I dont really wanna grow up.. Well, who wants? Ok except kids. Growing up is like, you're "not allowed" to play Lego and Barbie, you're "not allowed" to eat sweet stuff too much, you're "not allowed" to read kiddy books and watch cartoons.. ARGH.
I dont think I understand myself, and that makes life interesting. AKAKA.

I still think love at first sight dont really exist. I mean, it's not really love. Your first sight (I pity the blinds xP) is their looks or body or anything, and it's mostly lust, if it's the body. If it's the face, it means you love the face and not the person. I mean, love is supposed to be like love everything of the person, including his/her personality and stuff, not just their faces! Well, maybe love at first sight will develop into love, but that's indirect love-at-first-sight. Perhaps they just summarise it into "love at first sight", so that it's shorter and also gives a "romantic" feeling. BLEAH.
I think the kandungan of sugar determines all. LOL!
Kkz ignore me.

Instinct is such an interesting, uh, thing. Instincts are usually correct. You see, when you saw a (objective) question you don't know the answer, you "feel" that the answer B is correct, so you just shoot at the answer. When you got back the paper, the answer is correct. When there's fire in a house and the firemen couldnt put out the fire, their instinct was, get off here right now. When they just got out, the whole building collapse. GOSH DAMN CHUN. I mean the instinct. Wow. Does psychologist study these stuff? Cuz I wanna. ;) And, if psychologist requires Biology.. SAD. But anyway, Bio is so much better than Physics! My mom doesnt like Physics too, so I think I got her genes (dad is an engineer, so I didnt get that gene).
Oh, the 23rd pair of the chromosome, the smallest one, determines your gender. COOL. But I'm sure I wont be a genetic engineer. I think. Akaka.
What if the sperm is XY? BI! xP

I still dont feel enough even though this post is already so long.. And I refuse to split it into 2! ;)

The feeling of getting a lot of mails is great (akaka, so perasan), but the spams are twice, or even thrice the mails you get, especially my Gmail inbox. Frustrating lar.

I remembered once during assembly, Sern was asked to stand up (definitely being noisy). Iyin said, "Eh, your 'sen' stands up", then I thought, "What? My kidneys (sen) stand up?" I touched my back. No have wert, kidneys can stand up meh? When I saw Sern baru saya faham. Rupa-rupanya orang Sern bukan kidney sen. AKAKA.
Sern reminds me of something Jo said a long long time ago. She's like so interested of Sern and I, and kept asking questions about Sern and I. (Sern + me is not "us", like "ni he wo bu shi wo men" or something by Lee Hom. Or is it David Tao?) Jo said that they who hate each other usually fell in love and get married together. This is definitely extracted from dramas. If I'm destined to menghadapi this, hopefully the guy is kawaii. (I prefer kawaii than sexy or handsome, cuz kawaii-ness can last longer. xP)
No no, I dont hate Sern. I just hate him for saying that, uh, you know. It's making my F1 life so miserable! Well, mostly because of his "friends"! IISH. Havent heard of one-sided love ar? LOL. IGNORE ME.
Love is always patient and kind.
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceited.
It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take offense and is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth.
It is always ready to excuse,
to trust,
to hope,
and to endure whatever comes.

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